I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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