you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i dont even know how to be here
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
