my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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