I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
