But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
