just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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