If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
