I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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