It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
