this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
