You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
