no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize