So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
