fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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