Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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