I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
