You work out of a Hotel?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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