do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
