if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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