He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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