I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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