The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
