Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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