I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Enjoy the penises
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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