you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
