yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
