His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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