Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
