anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I am available for nakedness
Damn victory sex feels great
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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