The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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