Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
