Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
