Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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