This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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