If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have so many feelings about this burrito
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
