Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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