I need help removing her.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
