Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
