I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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