all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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