Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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