I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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