I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
