would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize