worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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