Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
