I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
