Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
