i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
