PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
