It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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