everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
