The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
