I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
