Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
