grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
