i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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