Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize