we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
