so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize