my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
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I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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