she takes plan B like it's going out of style
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
