when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize