It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
